Brothers and sisters in Peter, I have a message from the great one Himself. Yes, last night as I slept, Peter appeared to me in a dream. Let me share his message with you.
I was standing up at the water's edge, in my dream. No, wait, that was this morning's lyricomancy answer. I was in an office, wearing a business suit but no shoes, for some reason. I was sitting in a chair with a magazine in my hand. There was a desk there, and a woman at the desk. Behind the desk there was a door. "Eve, He'll see you now," the woman said. I noticed her name plate said "Tina." I thanked her, stood up, and walked past her and through the door. And there was Peter. "Hello, Eve, glad you could make it on such short notice."
"I'm always at your service, sir," I told him.
"Yes, well... look, Eve, this whole webpage thing...erm..."
"What, don't tell me you don't approve?" I asked with trepidation. "It's all very good natured, nothing offensive. Well, not counting those copyright violations...oh, is that it?"
Peter frowned. "Well, I'd rather not talk about those right now. But I reserve the right to do so in the future, mind you. No, it's the whole question of me being God, sending you messages and things. You know, I do find that whole thing kind of cute, and all. I really appreciate my fans."
"Yes, sir. We know."
"And I know you know. And don't say you know I know you know! I'm trying to get a message across, here."
"Just talk to me, sir."
"Right then, where was I. Oh, yes. It's not that I disapprove of your site. But I wouldn't like it one bit if anyone got the impression that you were speaking for me, or with my approval. You understand me?"
"Good. Then go forth to all the Webring, and say this: Know thou that The Church of Peter Gabriel is not affiliated in any way with Peter Gabriel or Real World Records. It is wholly the creation of Eve and her friends and relations, and she is entirely responsible for its content."
"Is that it, sir?"
"Pretty much. Oh, will you leave my hair alone, please?"
I couldn't resist. "What hair?"
"Look, am I God, or not? I should think you'd treat me with a little more respect!" Peter thundered.
"I'm sorry! Please forgive me! It's just that I wanted some feedback, you know, some contact with my visitors. I thought you'd understand, of all people. I mean, gods. I thought the hair thing might provoke a response. And it did. I've been really thrilled with the Hair Pleas I've gotten so far."
"And to tell you the truth, the look is actually beginning to grow on me."
"Quit kissing up, and go put a disclaimer on your site." But he was smiling now.
"I will , I will. But please, Peter, could you just answer one question?"
"What is it?"
"When are you going to release UP?"
His smile disappeared. "When I'm damn good and ready, that's when! Hell, if it's not my hair it's the new album. Just leave me alone, for Pete's sake. Do I bother you about your hair, or when you're going to get those updates done? No! Now get up, your alarm has been going off for five minutes. And don't forget that disclaimer!"
So here it is.